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Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Do you smack or discipline your child?

This week I’ve been talking about the first stage of learning which is of course 


“That you don’t know what you don’t know.”

Once again this week the debate about smacking children was reignited.   

(on 60 Minutes last sunday night) See


http://sixtyminutes.ninemsn.com.au/blogs/8466018/michael-usher-the-divisive-smacking-debate

http://video.au.msn.com/watch/video/the-smacking-debate/x9vh53l

http://sixtyminutes.ninemsn.com.au/stories/8465814/the-smack


Many people want to tell others whether they should or should not smack their children. 


I would prefer to see the community support parents as they raise their children and help them understand the overall discipline process.

The "meddlesome do-good-er" who wants to interfere knows nothing of the circumstances or family and yet they are eager to interfere in another family’s life.

It is more important that parents understand the 7 steps of good discipline and that we educate parents and support them in their role and in their choices.  

Helping them to understand that good discipline is 


1. first about establishing clear rules with 


2. known cause and effect.  



Consequences if you like.  


With clear consequences of any wrong doings being established ahead of time.

3. If, or more likely when, children break those rules … the consequences are already clearly established in a calm and known way and are implemented without anger but to ensure discipline and justice.

4. Then children have the opportunity to admit their wrong-doing, confess their sins if you like.  



5. The next stage is the punishment if it is appropriate and needed any punishment needs to be appropriate for the individual, and to the point of regret.  ***see note below


Now that is a very individual thing too.

There we proceed to  



6. forgiveness and 


7. restoration,as the last two stages where the child is  reminded that their actions were wrong but they are loved and ultimately they have your forgiveness.

Or do we just take the children away from parents and have the world’s do gooders raise them?




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*** My Blog note after on air comment.....


I would also remind parents and teachers that each of these important 7 stages of Discipline or 7 rules about rules require much more detail and there is much more that needs to be added but for time on radio I've shortened these here.


One very important general principle or rule about discipline is to


.....Discipline or chastise PRIVATELY


.....& Praise publicly
Also in regards to "privately".....with modern rules, laws and regulations especially in regards to child protection in schools and in the workplace etc, if you are a teacher perhaps it is more suitable and appropriate to have another adult present when telling a child what they've done wrong, at least know the laws and policies relevant to your school and workplace.


I'm sure I will do more on this soon, if you have any question, comments or contributions please add yours below.

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